I was talking to Nico tonight on the phone and we were talking about how we are going to be moving in a few days. The conversation turned to Graham, and Nico insisted that Graham is coming with us. I guess when they have talked about it school that has been the conversation: that Nico and his family are moving to Chicago and Graham is going to come with us. And I just got really sad for Nico. I don't question the decision we made. In the long run, this is going to end up being amazing for him. He doesn't realize it, but things are going to change for him this weekend. His two best friends (Graham and Ovid) are still going to be in Tallahassee and he will be in Chicago. We are going to try to see them one final time this week, but it's difficult, because none of them will realize that it's probably the last time (at least for a while) that they will see each other.
This spring, I read "Nurture Shock" by Po Bronson. It's basically about what the latest science says about children and how they develop. One of the most intriguing chapters of the book was about the psycho-social development of kids and the degree to which they learn sharing, compassion, and empathy from the relationships that they have with siblings. Turns out that the better predictor of their abilities to express compassion, empathy, and to share come from the relationships that they have with their friends. Since Graham has a little sister, he's always had to share. And he is awesome with her. He is very matter of fact about her abilities and the fact that she is little. But he doesn't ever seem to view her presence as a drag (bringing down the fun that Nico and he were going to have). His way and what he wants aren't the only thing that matter. So when he interacts with Nico, they have a really fun way of playing, where they go from activity to activity to activity, both playing together. Bossing each other and pushing back against the bossing, but never abandoning each other. Never getting pissed at each other and deciding to do something different. Which I think is awesome. I hope that someday, when Nico is an older brother, he is half the brother Graham is to his little sis.
In any case, we'll try to do google hangout and facetime and all of that. I am in the process of assembling a mail kit for Nico, so that he can send letters and post cards to Graham and Ovid. I'm also going to have a photobook printed of his friends and the house on Atapha and the hospital and the house on Apakin. And the parks. I hope it will help.
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